row-aurora-2019

Dawn Wood's

solo atlantic challenge 2019

row-aurora-2019
DAY 4 (35)

Toilet Talk

15th February 2019
I am quite a Tom boy is some ways, but I can also be quite ladylike. For example, ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you I can not stand toilet talk and farting, it’s absolutely horrible. But, here is a toilet story too good to keep to myself.

I was doing my morning chores, making water, cleaning out the fish pond, changing over the auto pilot that sort of thing, when I was thinking about the world record. I do still have a chance, but with 168 miles to catch up in a week I have to face reality that it may not happen.

So I starting thinking how there must be another way to get one, after all isn’t there a record for sitting in a bath of beans?!? So there must be something I am the first at or quickest at. I carried on pondering whilst getting ready to use the bathroom. (This translates as put a bit of water in the poo bucket, put it on deck and sit on it.)

So there I was sitting on my bucket when all of a sudden there was the answer right in front of me. Literally right in front of me!!! A massive wave came up the stern of the boat which was going to go one of two ways – either topple the boat on its side or I was going surfing. Which ever it was had the potential to get me in the s**t. 

So I gripped on to the safety lines one either side and tried to put as much weight as I could on the bucket to hold it still and stop it from going over. And you guessed it, I went surfing.

The 15ft wave picked up the boat sweetly and sent it careering down the other side with me perched on the bucket clocking a speed of 11.5kts. Once at the bottom the boat levelled out and I was able to continue my duties without incident.

I just can’t get the image of what it must have looked like out of my head! My eyes big as saucers as I realised what was about to happen then laughing my head off as I surfed a wave trying to grip a bucket in place with my buttock muscles!! 

Now surely there must be a world record for toilet surfing??? 

After all that excitement, I then finished getting ready for a two hour rowing shift. There were a few more big waves today with a little more wind, I did manage to get some footage, but the really good ones were when I was not filming. 

As the afternoon continued the wind again began to drop off meaning less speed and a calmer sea state.

I quite often think I have seen things in the ocean when it’s just the shape of a wave or the colour change from cloud cover. I was thinking this when I saw a fin shape just a foot from the back of the boat, then as it dipped down again i realised it was a fin! It was not a dolphin or shark but I am pretty sure it was another marlin as the fin was the same shape. It didn’t hang round long but was a little creepy watching it’s fin circle behind the boat for a minute. 

My album of choice for the sunset shift tonight… Luther Vandross. Great stuff, you can’t beat a bit of Luther, although probably should have had him on yesterday for my valentines evening.

As I write this blog the wind has dropped right off so I expect I am in for a long night. It’s just so frustrating I have already rowed for 12hrs since six o’clock this morning getting some good mileage in, now with light winds if I don’t put more hours in that will all be wasted. I am forecast reasonable winds for the coming week, but as we all know you don’t always get the weather predicted. 

Please send me all your positive wind thoughts to get me to Barbados safely and in good time, where I am due to become the 7th woman ever in history to row solo and unsupported across the Atlantic Ocean. 
(And maybe the fastest person to surf whilst sitting on a bucket) 


Night night,
Dawn 

  1. Trevor Pullum on February 16, 2019 at 9:43 am

    Brilliant Dawn as always. Think we all have that image in our heads now! Keep strong and positive (there is no doubt of that) Hoping for favourable winds as you push for Barbados x

    • Johanna Somers on February 16, 2019 at 2:39 pm

      OMG that was sooooooo funny I laughed out loud. Brilliant image 🤩. Sending 🌬. Keep rowing xx

  2. Sarah on February 16, 2019 at 9:48 am

    Dawn that has made me giggle so much. I have an amazing image in my head. The tears are rolling down my face with laughter. Positive thoughts coming your way. Big hugs xxxxxxxxx

  3. Sheila+1 on February 16, 2019 at 10:45 am

    I was just about to have breakfast when I read your latest blog…I now have this strange image before me of you setting the world surfing record whilst sitting and sh**ing on a bucket in the Atlantic …another OBE……as in On Bum Emergency this time!….. we look forward to the next blog with trepidation! Go, go go…in the boat and on the bucket…xUS

  4. Sonia Harding on February 16, 2019 at 10:59 am

    Hello Dawn – Clive here, wow what a record – toilet surfing, glad you did not try that on the “Alert” even now will have to laser then vision of you surfing from my mind. Keep going girl, things/luck has a strange way of coming good, will pray for the right wind conditions for you. Sonia was in hysterics reading your blog, just hope next time I take my little boat out fishing, she does not try to beat your world record!!!!.

    all the best from an old mucker!!.

  5. Millie on February 16, 2019 at 11:07 am

    The poo bucket I made 😁😅x

    • Nicola Clark on February 16, 2019 at 5:20 pm

      Ha yes Dawn ‘BUCKET-SURFING’ may be the latest craze on the water 🌊 🚣‍♂️ and if you and Millie quickly work out the branding, TM and marketing now what a perfect time to promote its capabilities and how much fun you can have doing it 😆 You’re doing so well Dawn, absolutely amazing and love your brilliant commentary too ❤️ x

  6. Bill Stock on February 16, 2019 at 11:57 am

    What a wonderful story about waves, wind and getting caught short on a record-breaking lav. Brings a whole new meaning to a Bucket List!! Another brilliant chapter for that book you must write.

  7. Christine Browne on February 16, 2019 at 12:07 pm

    Haha ! That could have ended so differently ! Well done for clenching on in there . I for one check your progress every morning and every night and I know many more who do also . I am sending you positive thoughts of great winds to help you on your last leg of the journey ( that was not a toilet joke by the way 😂😂) You have done such a great job hope you are enjoying your great adventure .
    Love
    Chris & family xx

  8. Sue Duncan on February 16, 2019 at 1:51 pm

    Loving your blogs, so great that we can almost imagine how exhilarating your bucket surfing felt. You are amazing at writing a blog that makes so many people laugh and feel happy to support this epic and fantastic journey. Sending positive natural winds to send you forward on to Barbados.

  9. sandra swanborough on February 16, 2019 at 2:04 pm

    This is absolutely hysterical. l’ve just read it out to my family who were in stitches. I now have the vision of you surfing the waves sat on your bucket holding on for dear life its just the funniest thing. Well done Dawn we are sending positive thoughts for lots of wind .
    Wishing you all the best

    Sandra

  10. Liz Morgan on February 16, 2019 at 2:56 pm

    Wishing you the absolute best weather and wind conditions Dawn. Love the buttock clenching story!!! God speed and God Bless xxxx

  11. Eileen on February 16, 2019 at 4:23 pm

    Absolutely hilarious I think every body had a very funny image in there minds. Keep going girl I do look forward to reading your blogs. I will keep on praying for the wind to come your way ,just make sure you are not sitting on the bucket when it arrives, as you don’t want too much wind,(:) .To be honest dawn if I was in your shoes I would be sh—–ng myself all day long. What an insperation you are.

  12. Stacey on February 16, 2019 at 4:43 pm

    Keep going Dawn ….you can raffle off your pooh bucket when you get back💩

  13. Michaela Davies on February 16, 2019 at 5:35 pm

    You tell such a good tale on top of your incredible daily achievements. We’ve never met but you worked alongside Tim Atkins and I love reading your blogs. 100% female inspiration! Keep going! Barbados is nearer than you think! 😀

  14. Brad dickel on February 16, 2019 at 6:58 pm

    Dawn, your daily blogs have been a welcome relief from a particularly stressful few weeks. I know I speak on behalf of everyone when I say how incredibly proud of you we all are! You have come so far and are a true inspiration to everyone at Essex Police, give it your all matey. What an outstanding effort and achievement. Be safe and take care, Brad

  15. Angie Hamilton on February 16, 2019 at 8:16 pm

    Dawny you are truely the best at blogging and you’ve left us crying with laughter !! Your just so amazing in so many ways & not just for being crazy and perfect at the same time to take on this challenge not enough room ever to note them all !! But even to be the 7th women is truely amazing and we love & care for your safe return and definitely a world record holder for capturing a captive ordinance and our hearts we love you Dawn from New Zealand 🇳🇿 and around the world go Dawny go xxxxx

  16. Hayley Shelton on February 16, 2019 at 8:52 pm

    🌬🌬🌬🌬🌬🌬🌬🌬💨💨💨💨💨💨💨 positive wind vibes just for you!
    You’re doing such an amazing thing, keep going you total inspiration of a woman x ❤️ X

  17. Sandie on February 16, 2019 at 9:32 pm

    It’s an incredible thing you are doing. Me and many others are cheering you on!!

  18. Wendy McLaren-Morris on February 16, 2019 at 10:11 pm

    Ha ha so funny, I used to dread going to the loo and hang on for dear life on the yacht but in a bucket jeezzzzz that takes some doing to stay up right.😂😂
    Keep going girl you are incredible, not long now and that rum punch, burger and ice cream is in reaching distance.. xxx

  19. Clare miller on February 16, 2019 at 10:48 pm

    Your comedy blog is a bonus I didn’t expect! Completely brilliant! Happy surfing right into Barbados!! Cx

  20. Nigel on February 16, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    So so funny the image is stuck now…. bucket surfing? However, my missus wanted to know what I am laughing at…. it took some explaining.

  21. Alistair Sims on February 17, 2019 at 12:04 am

    Dawny, that’s brilliant. Bog bucket surfing, definitely an Olympic sport in the making.
    Go Dawny Go!!

  22. Specks on February 17, 2019 at 7:53 am

    Smithy that is just the funniest thing I have heard in so long. I am wondering if your bottom is mildly bruised from it !!!!!!! Keep going superwoman ! Xxxxxx

  23. Judith Gardner on February 18, 2019 at 2:15 am

    You are a star and one awesome brave woman. Barbados has just banned single use plastic! I spend my time between Dengie and Barbados . Barbados has a great team protecting the turtles that nest there.. predominantly hawksbills so as you know they are vulnerable to plastic etc. Hope you will have favourable winds to blow you onto the Barbados sand! Get some fresh Coconut Water to rehydrate you .. all natural packaging!

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